By Al Mills
In a recent post, we talked about recognizing our less than sharp skills, and how we supplement them with people in our orbit who are more gifted in those areas than we are. What we didn’t talk about was the difficulty in coming to terms with the things we are not so good at.
In the kind of work that The Advantage Mill does, we see all kinds of situations, some of which require a little simplification and clarification, others require a lot of thought and planning to work through. But there are some situations that crop up on a regular basis; poor culture, unrealistic expectations, weak communication, and leadership struggles. One that we see often enough, is the inability of wonderfully gifted entrepreneurs, who have a difficult time recognizing the point at which they should surround themselves with people who are more gifted than they are in certain areas. This is the process of letting go of some responsibilities to competent people who can take the organization closer to its potential.
At different moments of leadership study and coaching, I find some issues become acute. At this point, I’m convinced that one of the key issues leaders struggle with is facing their own limitations. We can package this in different containers but once again, some of them just float to the top; pride, ego, and arrogance. But all of these may fall into one larger container: insecurities.
We often think of insecure people as those cowering in a corner, or those that won’t make eye-contact, or even people that will not step out and take a risk. In reality, it can be much more than that. When entrepreneurs build a business or organization, it can feel as if a delicate balance has brought the dream to fruition. Much like building a house of cards, skill, determination and care have contributed to its success. Making changes can feel super risky.
Others’ insecurities include their concern with how people perceive them, or even how their own worth to an organization is measured. We titled this article Mirror, Mirror because of the difficulty we all have in facing our own insecurities, and coming to terms with things we consider weaknesses.
Our insecurities can drive the worst behaviours we display. How do we treat other people when we feel afraid of losing something? What modes of self-protection are hurting others? How does our inability to be comfortable in our own skin affect the growth of our organizations?
Think of these real-life issues. Managers that mistreat direct reports because they need to keep them in their place. Leaders that become defensive in the face of constructive criticism, or the simple rejection of solid advice. Just imagine for a moment when an insecure leader believes he must be the final authority because he is afraid someone else will outshine him. This creates an invisible yet very real boundary of potential and growth for the organization.
Co-workers and peers may find all of these behaviours frustrating, and easy to name, but calling out the individual leader is difficult and rife with pitfalls. Compounding this is the fact that so many leaders are either unaware, or unwilling to face these blind spots.
What’s the strategy for conquering this?
The first option to look at is personal. How do you face your own insecurities?
The second option is how to up lead and help others.
In a nutshell, this is what happens; an entrepreneur starts a company and does a fantastic job of wearing all hats in the organization. As the company grows, rather than find people who are better than they are, they try to retain control and keep things close to their vest. The net result is a company that plateaus, and can’t grow beyond the abilities and capacity of that entrepreneur. There are a few reasons for the resistance to releasing the company to better leadership, at best it is great intentions blinded by the insecurity of risking the company’s growth against the security of hanging on. At worst, it is borne out of arrogance.
In the realm of great examples; I have a friend who started a company out of pure entrepreneurial spirit. He worked as a welder at a manufacturing company, but his internal drive was irresistible, and he stepped out of the security of a paycheque and risked everything to start a company. When he found the niche that worked, he led well, and when the organization became a going concern, he passed off some leadership and operational responsibilities to people he knew would carry the company forward, even recognizing that some of the new additions had skills and gifts that he did not. The company flourished, and when he was ready to retire, he sold it for an eye-watering sum.
In the realm of bad examples; I’ve seen an entrepreneur hold control of everything he could, and demean employees because he felt they could never be as good as he was. He eventually left the company, as his leadership style was killing the culture and profitability of the organization. What he was unwilling or unable to face, was a changing business world, and his own limitations.
Here’s what you can do to grow your leadership. Whether you are an entrepreneur or a leader, these concepts are universal.
Get humble. Understand exactly what value you bring and live in that. Face with grace the things you do not do well. I love Patrick Lencioni’s thought on humility; understanding where you thrive and where you don’t.
Do some personal inventories. There are plenty of great tools out there that shine light on what motivates you, energizes you, and what you are naturally skilled at.
Do a little navel gazing. One of the struggles inherent in confident and energetic people is ego. Can you get to a point where you can trust other people with the knowledge that they are better than you at a task or skill? Sounds easy, but our own insecurities drive us into a self-protect mode, and a façade grows which feels safe and secure, but in reality, is stunting the ability of your team and organization to flourish.
If you don’t already have trusted advisors, find some. Choose carefully, confidentiality and wisdom are vital. Make sure you surround yourself with people of good character, both in the hiring of your team and the selection of advisors. The more good-faith people you mingle with, the better your own decisions and behaviours will become.
Take some time to evaluate. Don’t rush off and start making decisions. Take days or weeks to sift through what you’ve learned about yourself, who you might ask to join your venture, and how you plan to implement what you’ve learned.
Be open with your trusted team members. Lately, transparency seems to be all the rage, but it has to be balanced. Can you find it in yourself to talk frankly to your team member about how they have better skills than you in some areas, and that you are trusting them to help propel your company to heights you wouldn’t be able to accomplish alone? By the way, it’s not that big an admission to say that you need others on your team. No one accomplishes great feats alone.
Take a look in the mirror, say the kind truth to yourself, but remember, that last thing you want is for your own limitations to limit your organization, but it should be the first thing you consider.
Al Mills is the lead consultant and founder of The Advantage Mill, a company dedicated to bringing out the best in the workplace. You can find the website at www.theadvantagemill.com.