By Al Mills
Christmas 2024 is upon us. It seems to me that every year it comes faster and faster, hardly taking the tree down one year, and then putting it up the next. From the time I was a kid, I loved setting up my train set under the tree with a small village. I loved setting up the train scene which looked like a Christmas straight out of the 1950’s. On top of building a Christmas scene, I loved watching the Christmas specials that were broadcast, including A Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and of course, the Dr. Seuss classic, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. To this day, the show still evokes powerful memories of Christmas and the joy we experienced in my childhood home.
Around my house, if you were in a bad mood, or just plain acting foul, you were called a Grinch! I still ask my adult kids why they are in a Grinchy mood! Ultimately, we learned that the Grinch was mostly misunderstood, and while his actions were mean-spirited, in the end, his heart grew to three times its size.
While we see the lighter side and redemption of Christmas villains like the Grinch, and Ebeneezer Scrooge, there are still plenty of leaders in the world who operate using principles we would describe as Grinch-like or Scrooge-like. And not just at Christmastime. Some leaders work within a philosophy that they always know best, they are better than their ‘subordinates’, affirmation is for the weak, bullying works, and humility has no place in a leader’s life. These seem like pretty extreme activities, but I suspect that each of us has at one time or another worked with a leader who operated with these principles at least to an extent. While there was a time that this type of leadership was tolerated, that time has passed.
Make no mistake, there are times in which a leader must make a decision that is unpopular, or offer a tough criticism to a team member, but use of these tactics will destroy a team, ruin an organization, and flood the culture with toxicity.
Leaders
If you are a leader who operates in this way, it is long past time for a change. If you are to grow and flourish as a successful leader, find a way to change today. Read voraciously, exercise empathy when working with team members, and make sure they understand that you are on their side, caring both about them as individuals, and the overall success of the organization. Be vulnerable and humble while you hold people accountable and champion the mission of your organization. If you think bully tactics are getting the best out of your team, you are throwing away performance and money hand over fist. Especially recommended reading is Patrick Lencioni’s The Ideal Team Player, and Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead. Understand this, the best leaders bring out the best in their teams, and provide the optimal opportunities for them to flourish.
Leaders, don’t misunderstand the message as only applying to blatant situations in which a leader is clearly unsuited to lead. All of us, no matter how experienced, educated, or charismatic, have issues of growth and blind spots. If you are thinking that you’ve arrived as a leader, you’re in big trouble already. But if you’re willing, examine your leadership habits, and if you find one that needs improvement, tackle it with determination and humility. Be self-aware, and if you can find someone you trust to help you work through a poor leadership habit, bring them into your circle and ask them to keep you accountable, and help you on your journey.
I believe that the psychological mumbo-jumbo we’ve indulged in the past has made us wary of self-evaluation, and cultural health (read falling off tables into the arms of the team). Our wariness does not change the fact that we are social beings living in, and working in community. Understanding the effect we have on others from these perspectives is a worthwhile effort, with real benefits.
Team Members
If you are working with a leader who bullies you, it’s a tough position to be in. On one hand, it’s important to understand that your leader is a flawed human, just like you are, and that circumstances in his or her life may contribute to this poor behaviour. It’s also important to understand that leaders, and indeed all of us, may struggle with intent and impact. Our intent may be a healthy call to accountability or even discipline, but our impact could be devastating. Taking this into account, the need for dealing with these issues is no less critical.
As someone who works with a difficult leader, it is crucially important to begin healthy dialogue and bring these issues to light. Most poor leaders don’t realize they are ruining their teams with their behaviour, and dialogue is the beginning step to reconciliation. If you feel there is no way to accomplish this, have a conversation with the HR department, and consider an outside consultant or mediator to help. The Advantage Mill offers services in this area, and so do other companies. Help is there if you reach out.
For both leaders and team members, there could come a time when the best step involves separation, resignation, or even termination. For organizations that aspire to healthy operations, it is absolutely imperative that these issues find resolution. The alternative is a perpetually under-performing organization which never realizes its financial or cultural potential, and is full of miserable people.
Owners and Entrepreneurs
If you are the leader or owner of an organization, be sure to spend time learning from other leaders and authors. The last person thought to have known everything was Sir Francis Bacon (according to some historians). He had the advantage of being very intelligent and industrious, but he also lived in a world in which scientific knowledge was burgeoning, and limited when compared to today’s growing expanse of knowledge.
In 2024, mathematical, scientific, historical, fiscal, and computational knowledge has grown to such an extent that there’s no way for any one of us to know it all.
All that to say, successful entrepreneur, business owner, CEO, leadership guru, or any other type of high-skill, or even low-skill profession, no one has complete knowledge, expanding yours will help you become closer to an effective leader than ever before.
The most encouraging element in all of this is the knowledge that these issues are fixable. Seemingly hopeless at times, the landscape on the other side of this mountainous issue is vital freedom for both leaders and team members. Freedom from that sick feeling on Sunday nights before Monday morning, freedom for leaders to bring their best to the entity, and freedom for team members to experience fulfillment, accomplishment, and ownership in their roles within the company.
This blog entry is significantly longer than others, and for good reason; organizations have become satisfied with results that do not approach their potential because we are used to toxic leadership, and feel like the discomfort of discussion, conflict, and resolution is not worth the final result. It’s exceptionally difficult to overstate this; when organizations solve this type of dysfunction, the benefits are tangible, both financially and culturally. I’ve seen wonderful teams fall apart while tolerating poor leadership, throwing away fulfilling missions, and cultures in the process. While sometimes it’s necessary to end working relationships, isn’t the fight for success and improved culture worth the struggle to get there?